Candy is dandy…Owner surrender at BARC. I know, you’re probably wondering why someone would give their dog a stripper’s name? I don’t know the answer or why she was given up on. Probably the usual: going on vacation, or I moved to an apartment that doesn’t allow dogs, or we just had a baby so the dog goes, or my all time favorite, I just got a new boyfriend who doesn’t like dogs. I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t you get a boyfriend who likes dogs? Or better yet, get a new one who does.

Poor Candy, through no fault of her own, she found herself going from a home to the stressful environment of an animal shelter. And this gorgeous chocolate Lab mix found herself on “the list.”

One of my favorite dog, nutbag (but my kinda nutbag) volunteers, Jill Archibald, decided to foster Candy. And taking it one step further, as she so often does, decided to find her a human of her own. Jill took Candy to an adoption event at Petsmart, like she does almost every weekend. But this time it was a little different. With Candy in her car, Jill, who was shorthanded of personnel, got adoption materials from the back of her car. She closed the hatchback and walked around to get Candy through the car door. However Dandy Candy had other ideas. She opened the hatchback and bolted. Pretty clever of her to figure out how to operate the hatchback, but she did. #Smartypants.

Now Jill is in pretty good shape, but she was no match for Candy’s speed. Candy darted across a busy highway and into a busy neighborhood. Jill lost sight of her. What ensued was nothing short of miraculous. Jill went on a mission to retrieve this runaway bride. That night she drove around for hours looking for Candy. She put up signs all over the place and mobilized a search party. People came out of the woodwork to find Candy. She was sighted in a neighborhood several times but she was too afraid to walk up to people. And no one could spot her while driving around.

I drove around with Jill for several hours on Sunday morning. While not driving like a Masshole (she’s from Massachusetts), it was quite an experience. A woman on a mission might possibly do rolling stops through stop signs. Maybe. And I learned what turn-arounds are ( and how stupid they are). Jill explained to me that they have those back East but that theirs work so much better. I still think they’re stupid, but that’s just me. I do believe we stopped and spoke with every single person in that neighborhood. We were still getting reports of people spotting Candy but nothing. One guy called us and told us to go West on Benignus Street. All I could think of was what a dumb name for a street, and not so easy to spell. My driver, Jill, turns to me and asks, “Which way is West?” My response, “Hell if I know, the sun’s not out yet.” Oh, how we laughed. Neither of us are great with directions… In my defense, I’m a man – and everyone knows we never ask for directions.

We searched every street with no luck. Many people were still driving around, searching for Candy. We parted ways. Later that night I went back. Someone had spotted Candy and we actually found her. However, when we approached her she got scared and ran off. I chased her but being that I’m allergic to exercise, she got away from me. I did get in my exercise for the week, so that was a bonus…I guess. But Candy disappeared into the night, not to be found.

The next morning a very determined Jill went back and spotted Candy. Like a private eye, she stayed back and just watched her, not wanting to spook her, having her high tail it again. Then Candy fell prey to Jill. She wandered into someone’s backyard. Jill quietly asked the homeowner to close the automatic gate and she did. Now Candy was trapped. No more running away. Jill went back there and sat next to her. They had a conversation and Candy decided she had made an error in judgement. She decided she wanted to go home with Jill. See how smart she is? Two happy girls – Jill and Candy. Now Candy is in foster care with Jill, who said, “After all this, I may just have to keep her.” However, Candy is currently available for adoption. You can contact BARC.AID@houstontx.gov if you are interested.

So, if you go on vacation, please don’t turn your dog in to a shelter. And if you get a new place to live, please make sure they take dogs. And if you’re going to have a baby, please make sure to properly introduce your dog to your bundle of joy. Also, if you find a new boyfriend of girlfriend, please make sure they love your dog as much as you do. I am more than happy to interview your next love interest, before you commit. Much like dogs, I am an excellent judge of character (and part time matchmaker).

And Jill Archibald? They don’t call her Used Dog Saleswoman of The Year for nothing. I know, the Used Dog Salesman of The Year told me so.